When you’re used to being capable, asking for help can bring up an uncomfortable question: shouldn’t I be able to handle this myself?
In Episode 6 of You Are a Work of Art, I share how I had connected my worth with doing everything on my own—and why deciding to go to therapy became such an important step in my life.
This conversation is for overwhelmed working women who are used to being needed but find it harder to name what they need.
Before I picked up the paint markers
After my second son was born, I noticed how quickly I was getting frustrated. I was working full time, maintaining a home, and caring for my children. I knew I wasn’t reacting the way I wanted to, but I didn’t know how to move through it.
Deciding to seek support meant questioning what I believed about strength.
In an early therapy session, my therapist asked when I had last done something for myself. I couldn’t remember. Her encouragement to take ten minutes helped me begin noticing my own needs and making room for creativity.
But the first step was allowing someone to help me. Therapy gave me somewhere to talk and work through things; creative time became one part of caring for myself alongside that support.
What we explore
• Why asking for help can feel difficult when you’ve tied being capable to doing everything yourself
• The fear of burdening people before you’ve even made a request
• How a specific request can help someone understand what would make a difference
• Letting someone receive your request and consider their own capacity
• Beginning to look for support when you don’t yet know where to turn
• Expressing gratitude without creating another obligation for yourself
What could one request sound like?
You don’t need to explain every part of your life before asking for help. You might start with something like:
“Could you handle dinner tonight? I need a little time to myself.”
“Could you listen for a few minutes? I don’t need you to solve it. I just need to talk.”
“Can we look at this together? I’m stuck, and I could use another perspective.”
These are examples, not requests you need to copy exactly. Consider what you need and who would be appropriate to ask.
Someone may not be able to help. That doesn’t mean you were wrong to ask. And if you don’t have an obvious person to turn to, your first step may be finding out what support is available.
Creative Reset: I Don’t Have to Hold It All
You’ll need paper and a pen or pencil. Color is optional. Set aside about ten minutes.
1. Draw two gently curving lines to make a river, then add three or four stepping stones leading up the page.
2. Spend a few minutes adding ripples, shading, color, or details along the riverbank. Give yourself time to enjoy creating.
3. On the first stone, write a few words about one thing you need help with.
4. On the second, write where you could turn—a person, a professional, or somewhere you could ask about available support. “Find out” is a valid answer.
5. On the third, begin one specific request: “Could you help me with…” or “Could we talk about…”
6. Leave an optional fourth stone open. Add any finishing details, then write “I don’t have to hold it all” at the bottom.
Your page can stay private. When you’re ready, consider when you could take that one next step.
A question to take into your week
What’s one small piece of help you could ask for—or one offer you could let yourself accept?
You can be capable and still need people.
Make a little room for yourself
From Seed to Bloom is a free five-day creative journey to reconnect with yourself—one 10-minute creative reset at a time. You’ll receive your workbook by email right away, followed by guidance through five simple pencil-and-paper exercises.
https://moniqueburton.myflodesk.com/creativereset
For creative resets, reflection, and conversation, join The Creative Courtyard:
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About your host
Monique Burton is a creative coach helping overwhelmed working women reconnect with themselves through creativity and rediscover calm, clarity, and confidence. She hosts You Are a Work of Art, a podcast about life, creativity, and making space for what matters.
This episode shares Monique’s personal experience. The creative reset is a reflection activity, not a replacement for professional care.